- Michele Hunt
Updated: 7 days ago
"Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging" Brene Brown
I speak to many clients that have suffered sexual abuse. What they all seem to be doing is carrying a heavy burden of shame. Along with shame, guilt comes hand in hand. They feel as if they somehow where responsible for the assault.
"I must have done something to encourage it"
"I should have spoken out"
"I should have fought"
"But my body responded to it"
What they were actually doing was trying to survive and get through a traumatic time and there was nothing that they would have done to deserve or encourage this violation. They may have been manipulated and brainwashed and silenced by fear for themselves or silenced to protect someone else. Silenced by shame and guilt that should belong to their abuser and not the survivor.
Over time their pain can turn in on themselves and it eats away at their self worth.
They tell me that they feel worthless, they feel ugly, they feel as if something is broken, they feel ashamed and unable to trust.
As well as dealing with the emotional effects of the trauma more than likely they are living with some other of the effects of Trauma such as:
Flashbacks
Memory gaps
Anger
Stress
Anxiety
Depression
Panic attacks
Hypervigilance
Numbing
Part of my role as a counsellor is to help them to see that they do not need to feel shame. Through therapy their trauma can be processed and they can begin to heal. They can start to see....
They were not in any way to blame.
They do not need to carry this heavy burden of guilt. They can hold their heads up high.
They are strong amazing people
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If you would like some help to work through a past trauma fill out my contact form or email me on lavenderlanecounselling@gmail.com
